Who said “live” was better? Here’s a sloppy, pathetic performance of Mahler’s Fifth that ought never to have been released, particularly given the high level of technical execution prevailing among today’s orchestras in this composer’s symphonies. The performance clocks in at 78 minutes, making it possibly the slowest rendition ever, which wouldn’t matter so much if it were not also the dullest. Curiously, Haitink, who is squarely back in comatose mode on this particular occasion, is relatively quick in the Adagietto (a bit more than 10 minutes), which means that he is extremely slow everywhere else–in other words, right where he shouldn’t be. The scherzo takes an excruciating 21-plus minutes, the first two movements half an hour.
I know, I know, timings aren’t necessarily determinate–and as if to prove the point, Haitink also secures the most rhythmically dead, flaccid playing imaginable from an orchestra that sounds as though it is sight-reading, and not all that well. The opening funeral march hasn’t a shred of tension; its hysterical central outburst is clearly on Prozac; and the lack of dynamic contrast, weak strings, tinny principal trumpet, and general atmosphere of boredom are positively stultifying. You can only imagine what this does to the second movement, where sloppy ensemble makes an additional contribution to the wreckage. The wind and brass chording, never quite together from the very first bars, makes a joke out of the big chorale toward the end, while the final disintegration passes by with scarcely a ripple of intensity.
I assume that the credit on the disc booklet to “Sarah Nemtanu, violin solo” has something to do with the scherzo, and in fact its famous horn obbligato might as well have been played by a stringed instrument, for all that Haitink captures any of the movement’s ebullience and Viennese rhythmic verve. It’s worth mentioning that Mahler’s directive “not too fast” does not mean “slow and boring”. It all culminates in the most scandalously bad string playing in the fugal episodes of the finale ever to make it onto disc. I’ve heard community orchestras manage it more deftly at a first rehearsal. Listen to how Haitink’s flat-line approach to dynamics and phrasing affects your subjective impression of absolute speed. Barbirolli, for example, is a touch slower still, but he sounds substantially quicker. Enough; this is grotesque. Shame on all concerned for allowing this worthless relic to see the light of day.
